I’m here to state that, in my opinion, dawdling has gotten a bad rap. Look up the word in the dictionary and here’s what you’ll find: Daw.dle: vi Move slowly, take one’s time; waste time; idle; linger; take more time than necessary; to spend time without haste or purpose.
They’re ba-a-a-a-ck! Along with the tulip shoots pushing up through the snow, the robins, the melting ice, and the mud, the coming of spring marks a new season of Reality TV. But is it really new?
From the commercials, I see the same young faces and half-clad bodies with not a single love handle to be spotted in the entire group. The days and times might be different, but it is quite clear from the lack of Silver Sneakers, that not one television executive heeded my suggestions for winning an “older” audience.
The inevitable has happened. The insidious process has reached its conclusion. The final step has been taken, and the journey is over. I can deny it no longer. I have become my mother!
Despite our self-righteous cries as young girls that we will never be like her, one day we look in the mirror, and there she is, peering back at us.
This should not be shocking. Certainly our own aging process was genetically designed to parallel hers. Mine started in my twenties with the appearance of the first prematurely gray hairs. Which, by the way, I used to pull out. But this only works for so long, unless you prefer bald spots to gray patches. So I stopped pulling and started dying.
This essay has to be quick, brief and simple. Why? Because I am at risk! Any minute now some unseen entity could be looking over my shoulder and stealing every word that I write. So I’m saving all of my really good words for another time when my security is not in jeopardy.
(Did I just use the word “jeopardy?” Uh oh! That was one of my good words. I must be more careful going forward.)
How do I happen to find myself in this situation? Believe me, through no fault of my own. The current circumstance is an unfortunate sequelae of trusting a higher power. (“Sequelae.” Damn! Just blew another one.)