I apologize for the fact that I’m late in delivering this new post. That is, if anyone even noticed that I’m a few days past my deadline. Five to be exact, if you happen to mark your calendar. Which I highly doubt. But that’s okay. I don’t mind my usual timeliness being taken for granted.
In case you’re interested, I do have a good excuse. No, it’s not the dog ate my homework, or in this case, my essay. It’s better than that.
One week ago I had an encounter with an orthopedic surgeon. And while I was under, and totally helpless, he performed a total replacement of my left shoulder.
Yesterday was the Ides of March, and that can only mean one thing. It’s time for the annual rundown of what Big Pharma has been up to during this past year.
And the drug companies did not disappoint. New treatments for everything from dry eye to chronic constipation have emerged. And once again, while the rest of us were fast asleep, with or without chemical assistance, former Scrabble players with a penchant for high-scoring letters, stayed up all night and created a roster of new, incredibly dumb names.
Question: What do the Presidential primaries and my new web site have in common?
Absolutely nothing, except for the fact that they are both happening today. So welcome to my new home and my new title “An Unfiltered Wit.”
Since it is a Super Tuesday, I thought it fitting for my first essay on this fresh page to be somewhat presidential. Therefore, I have decided once again to take on the pharmaceutical industry. Last year I presented an essay which challenged you to identify the drugs with phonetically ridiculous names that were currently being advertised on TV.
It’s not your imagination. There are more TV commercials intruding on your favorite programs than ever before. Or should I say, the actual programs appear to be filling in the time between clusters of annoying commercials.
These days, even Charlie Rose can’t seem to get a word in edgewise. No wonder he has so many different broadcasts on a variety of channels, rivaled only by Law & Order reruns. Poor man. It’s the only way he can get to complete a sentence.
Despite the number of avoidance devices that are at my disposal, such as the DVR and the mute button, and lower-tech strategies like flushing the toilet, or letting the dog out, I occasionally get lazy and merely sit and stare at the screen. This causes a sudden onset of extreme irritability, especially aimed at the proliferation of advertisements for prescription drugs. America – are we that unwell?
By any chance, do you to remember an old movie called The Enchanted Cottage starring Robert Young and Dorothy McGuire? It was released a long time ago, 1945 to be exact. If you don’t remember it, please don’t lie and tell me it’s because you weren’t born yet. I happen to know how old you are!
Anyway, in this film, Robert Young plays a disfigured war veteran and Dorothy McGuire plays a homely maid. The two marry, and as time passes, fall more deeply in love. Within the confines of the cottage in which they live, they begin to appear beautiful to each other.
Well, apparently, I had been happily living in an enchanted cottage of my own. At least until the other day, when a terrorist disguised as an eye doctor blew the whole thing to smithereens!
This blog will be short and sweet because I have to run off to a doctor’s appointment. I don’t remember if it is the dermatologist or the opthamologist. I’ll have to consult my diary so I don’t wind up waiting an hour in the wrong office.
I also have to check my wallet to make sure I replaced my insurance card after the last doctor’s visit, and that I have cash, check, or credit card for the co-pay.
Oh, and I’d better attend to the status of my underwear just in case today’s appointment turns out to be with the gynocologist.