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Fantasy

Fantasy Technology

The Alexa Quartet

January 15, 2017

Have you met Alexa? No? Then let me introduce you.  She’s the offspring begat by Amazon to be your very own personal assistant.  She joins the company of other disembodied  voices  created to be at your service:  Siri, Cortana, and Miss Google Assistant, who, as far as a know has not yet been granted a Christian name.

My first encounter with Alexa came as a bit of a shock.  I was enjoying a visit with my extended-family daughter when suddenly I heard said daughter call out in a commanding voice “Alexa, turn off the light.”

I was startled.  First of all, she’s very polite, so the absence of the word “please” was somewhat surprising.  And even more questionable than her sudden lack of manners was “Who is Alexa?” Continue Reading

Aging Fantasy

Romancing The Crone

September 17, 2015

For those of you who have imagined me lounging by the pool for the month of August, that couldn’t be further from the truth.  In fact, I’ve been lounging on my screen porch, which is nowhere near the pool, and doesn’t dictate that I wear a bathing suit.  But I have not been idle.

As a matter of fact, I’ve been very busy pondering life, and how I might best find purpose for all those estrogen-free years that lay ahead.

You see — I was a post-menopausal seeker, looking for role models for the third act of life.   I refused to accept that gray hair, a few wrinkles, and five extra pounds of tummy fat somehow reduced my societal net worth.  (Although I do admit that it does give one pause!)

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Erotica Fantasy Relationships

A Belated Valentine

February 15, 2015

ScreenClipUnless you’ve recently crawled under a rock, or have been hiding out on a Pacific island with the Japanese soldier who didn’t know WW II had ended, you must be aware that the much- anticipated film version of “Fifty Shades of Grey” was released this weekend, with the biggest advanced ticket sales of any movie.  Ever.

If you, like me, are at that age where novel erotic positions are guaranteed to give you leg cramps, but don’t want to feel left out of the sexual frenzy, I offer you a reprint of my own, formerly released versions of two out of three of the “Fifty Shades” trilogy.

As I’m sure all of my literati friends already know, “Fifty Shades of Grey” is about a kinky relationship between a very unreal 27-year-old drop-dead gorgeous male who is a self-made gazillionaire, and a somewhat unreal beautiful 21-year-old female recent college graduate who is still a virgin.  She is an English literature major with a perfect grade point average who nevertheless expresses her emotional astonishments by repeating the phrases “holy crap,” “holy shit,” and “holy fuck” on alternating occasions.

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Entertainment Fantasy Television

What I Want To Be When I Grow Up (or, My Love Affair with Olivia Benson)

October 15, 2014

I consider myself to be a peaceable person.   On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 representing the highest tolerance for any situation that portends violence, I would rate myself a minus 5.

I’m against the death penalty.   I bring a scarf to the movies so I can pull it over my eyes if the background music suggests that something ominous is pending.

I contribute to the ASPCA.  I don’t even kill the insects that find their way into my home, but instead, try to shoo them outside.  Except for mosquitoes.  But I consider that self defense.

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Erotica Fantasy

Fifty Shades Greyer

March 15, 2013

When we last left Anna Steelman and Judah Gold (nee Goldberg), she had just been introduced to his Florida Room of Pain (aka the Pink Playground), and was being ravished atop the ornate four-poster bed by a turned-on Mr. G.  He succeeded in awakening stirrings within her that she had not experienced since discontinuing hormone replacement therapy some twenty-odd years ago.  At first she confused these sensations with a bladder infection, but soon discovered they were really dormant sexual longings.

Anna quickly learned that the game of domination had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with canasta (possibly strip poker, but definitely not canasta), and that a sub, in this case, was not a hero sandwich.  Uncertain of her limits, but intrigued in spite of herself, she agreed to become his sexual slave.  “After all,” she reasoned, “how far can he go? We’re not exactly kids anymore, you know!”

Judah suggested they establish a “safe word” that she could use if he did, in fact, get too frisky due to an extra Viagra.   After tossing around several possibilities, like “Uncle” or “Get off me you sick bastard,” they agreed on “Genug,” Yiddish for “if you don’t stop right now I’ll kick you in the kishkas.”

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Erotica Fantasy Uncategorized

“Fifty Shades” Revisited

February 15, 2013

Two significant events occurred this week.  1) I had another birthday, and 2) I finally read   “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

What is the link between these two seemingly unrelated happenings, you might ask?  Even if you don’t (ask, that is) you know I’m about to tell you.  My birthday, of course, forced me to confront the reality of my chronological age.  Even more depressing, the book forced me to face the possibility that my potential for acting out sexual fantasies may very well be over; novel erotic positions are guaranteed to give me leg cramps.

As I’m sure all of my literati friends already know, “Fifty Shades of Grey” is about a kinky  relationship between a very unreal 27-year-old drop-dead gorgeous male who is a self-made gazillionaire, and a somewhat unreal beautiful 21-year-old female recent college graduate who is still a virgin.  She is an English literature major with a perfect grade point average who nevertheless expresses her emotional astonishments by repeating the phrases “holy crap,” “holy shit,” and “holy fuck” on alternating occasions.

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Fantasy Uncategorized

Epiphany

March 30, 2012

I think I have figured out the afterlife.

If I go to heaven I will be surrounded by wonderful delights that are no longer accessible to me here on earth.

For example, for years I enjoyed eating a particular mint candy that, in addition to having just the right amount of zing, also happened to be sugar-free.  What a perk for the diet-conscious.  Good taste without the calories.  Suddenly it is gone!  I check out all my former suppliers; the drug store, the super market, the convenience store.  I am told by all of them that the manufacturer stopped making it.   I’m sure there was a good reason.  Probably all the toxic chemicals that made it so tasty.  But still…..

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