Are you familiar with fad-speak? Sure you are. Or do I have to give you a wake-up call? Or tell you it’s time to smell the roses? Or maybe that you need a reality check. Because if we’re on the same page, then you should be having fun yet. Unless you’re having a midlife crisis. Or if that’s on the back burner, then maybe a senior moment?
Have you ever wondered about the source of these phrases? Probably not, because you have more important things to think about. But having too much time on my hands, and not wanting to deal with more essential matters, like what to make for dinner, I confess to wasting precious minutes pondering the origins of these memes.
Kellyanne Conway. I am in awe of you. But at the same time, you are an enigma. I regard you with such a broad spectrum of feelings that I have no idea how I’ll respond to you from one day to the next. Not that you care. You don’t know me. I’m a mere speck on the electoral map. Nevertheless, you have succeeded in provoking my emotional system.
There are times I feel deep admiration for you. I think you’re very smart and I respect what you’ve accomplished. You’ve made it big in a man’s world.
Hey, all you geezers out there! Do you think you’re still cool? If you do, it’s a sure sign that you’re not. Because if you were, you’d be Gucci.
Have no idea what I’m talking about? That might indicate that you aren’t woke. Don’t worry. I’m here to help. The enormous popularity of social media has produced an alternate language of shorthand and conjoined words that change as quickly as you can say “Huh?” It’s hard to communicate with your grandkids when they sound like they’re speaking Klingon.
There is nothing that says “old” more than conversing with someone several decades less ancient than you, and having absolutely no idea what they’re talking about. The grammar and syntax seem familiar, but the actual words may as well be Urdu. This could bring tears to the eyes even to those among us with Twitter accounts.
So, as a public service to my cohorts on the upper end of the age spectrum, in an effort to keep everyone well-informed and au courant, I present below my second annual “English As A Second Language” self-test. As much as I would like to credit myself for having invented this new jargon, the words were actually selected from among the 1,500 new entries into the Oxford English Dictionary. Have fun!
Growing older is no excuse for not keeping on top of things! No, this is not a reference to the sexual practices of septuagenarians, but to being in tune with what is happening today! Specifically, I am referring to words, vernacular, vocabulary.
For instance, do you think you know what the word “cloud” refers to? Well, you’re wrong! It used to mean only one thing. Now it means quite another. This formerly simple concept has been kidnapped by the technology industry to describe a data storage method.
And this is just one small example. Language is changing by the minute. So to keep up with what’s au courant, I’ve put together a 10-item quiz to test your TQ (Trending Quotient). If you don’t want to feel like a dinosaur, take this exam before your next conversation with a millennial. Don’t know who a millennial is? Then that might be a good place to start.